Thursday, May 7, 2015

Two Things I Learned About Making Mistakes

This is my first blog post since November 2014.  Even though I've been away for awhile, there's been allot of growth happening in my life and it's been all consuming.  There's a war that I've been waging...both internally with my Hyena and externally with forces from the dark side that I can't see but know exist and that try to tempt me, delay me or distract me from getting results every chance they get.  They are very good at it...they've been around for a long time to get the results that they do...and now as I write this, I can see that even these forces understand principles that sometimes I forget. 

Last November, I was invited to apply for a position writing a blog for Higher Laws.  This is something I had never done before but I felt the Spirit witness to me that this was something I needed to do.  A few short months earlier, I received a blessing and was told that I had a talent for expressing myself.  I received this blessing with great joy and appreciation as I had been praying that Heavenly Father would reveal my gifts and talents to me.  It was like a light bulb went off!  It's amazing how you can be so blind to truth but as soon as it is revealed unto you, it seems so obvious and you wonder how you missed it (this is another whole subject I could write a whole other blog about).  I thought, "Yeah, I guess I do have an ability to express myself but I never thought this was a gift or talent".  When I received the e-mail from Higher Laws inviting me to write a blog for them, I knew in my heart that Heavenly Father was opening a door for me.  I was so excited to try something that I had never done before and to take a shot at using this talent and working to make it even better.

With a passion and a desire to work I had not felt in myself in a really long time, I posted 9 blog posts on my own blog and 1 blog post on a guest blog.  I felt such a huge sense of accomplishment and certainty.  I was on top of the world and my lion was roaring!!!  I could not believe that I had done it because for so long, my Hyena had told me over and over again that I was not good enough...that I should not even try.

The VERY next day after I had submitted my posts, I had a HUGE state crash.  I went from feeling proud of my accomplishments to wanting to destroy EVERYTHING I had worked so hard to accomplish.  I SHREDDED myself for mistakes I had made during the writing process in order to meet the deadlines.  I failed to align to the priority of relationships to spend time with my husband and son.  I shut out my husband and rejected his desires to read and review my blog before I posted it. I posted personal details about our lives, including his, that I did not get his permission to share.  I felt vulnerable and uncomfortable putting my heart out there for everyone to see.  In short, I felt like I was a fraud and a failure writing about Higher Laws and that my Hyena had been in the driver's seat, even though my intentions and desires had been pure to want to share and serve others.

I have learned that we will receive equal opposition from the dark side for all the light that we receive.  This is all part of the process.  It is a true principle.  I have felt it and seen it and experienced it.  However, despite this knowledge, that dark side knocked me down and knocked me down HARD.  I made the mistake of falling and not getting back up fast by aligning to Higher Laws, managing my state, serving and growing.  I allowed my Hyena to dwell on my mistakes instead of allowing my Lion and the Creator to forgive myself and move forward.  I knew all this but yet I just couldn't seem to pull myself out of the depths of my self loathing.
Over the last few months, I have been listening to weekly coaching calls and continuing to put myself in environments of growth. It was coaching calls by Andy Benjamin on February 13th and Brandon Broadwater on April 29th that gave me the perspective I needed to help me get back up.

Andy was relating some personal struggles with applying Higher Laws in the beginning and asked himself, "What will STOP me? What will be the thing that knocks me off my path?"  Andy's answer to this question was...
NOTHING! NOTHING! NOTHING! He would not let any uncertainty knock him off his path and cause him to have a near miss with greatness.  He knew that he wanted to get away from being honorable vs. valiant and that he wanted to be a helper, a servant and a teacher.  If he failed to take his next step, it was FEEDBACK to help him know whether or not he was moving forward.  He didn't beat himself up if he didn't take the next step.
MISTAKES are FEEDBACK and nothing more.  Mistakes get correction through thoughtful application.  Doing things mindlessly will lead to bad habits but doing things...practicing mindfully with the intent to get better will lead to PERFECTION.  You have to practice and express your bad habits with the INTENT of getting better...with the awareness that you aren't perfect...that there are things for you to improve on.  There are no excuses not to act.  Take every opportunity to practice and correct mistakes.
Brandon reminded us some principles on How to Create a Life of Prosperity and again he re-iterated some of the same principles taught by Andy several weeks earlier: 
PERFECTION is making a mistake and getting up fast.

After I learned that mistakes are feedback and perfection is getting back up fast, I gained the needed perspective to help me move forward. Every time the Creator showed me something I needed to change about myself or a mistake that I had made, I started offering gratitude for it.  I realized just how much my Heavenly Father loved me and that he wanted me to be even better.  If I couldn't see my mistakes or where I needed to change, how could I change and become even better?  I also realized that next time I get knocked down, I need to do everything in my power to get back up fast by aligning to the Higher Laws I have already learned.

If you have been down too long because you have made mistakes, know that you are not alone.  You can learn more about principles that produce results in the 3-day event Master Your Power Within.  If you would like to know more about how this training has affected my life, please feel free to contact me by e-mail.

Thursday, November 13, 2014

Leading Yourself Before the One

John 5:9: Grudge not one against another, brethren, lest ye be condemned: behold, the judge standeth before the door.

Before attending University 101, my Lion was struggling to show respect in a particular relationship.  My Hyena was choosing to react to their Hyena instead of my Lion choosing to act and set an example. My inability to influence my own behavior and to be the Lion I wanted to be frustrated me. Frequently during University 101, I wondered how I could influence myself and the other person with whom I had conflict, to be even better.

After University 101, I shared with a friend some of the incredible lessons I had learned. I learned that we must be able to lead ourselves before we can lead the one, the group and the multitude. My friend seemed really interested in what I had to share, however, our talk turned to the person with whom I had been having conflict before attending University 101. We both started criticizing this person and their inability to lead themselves and therefore the one or the group.

Later that day, the Heavenly Guide inspired me to read James 5 in the New Testament. I was reminded that I should not grudge (backbite) others and judge them.   My Hyena tells me that I am above others when I compare their weaknesses to my strengths.  However, I learned from University 101 that growth is not a linear path. It has edges that go off in all different directions. Judging others, including myself, is a negative behavior pattern that I need to change.  Our Creator gave us our Lion and Hyena to provide opposition in all things.  Our Hyena empowers our Lion.  Without it, there would be no opposition and therefore we would not have agency. The Creator gave us weakness that we may be humble and become strong by overcoming it. When we criticize ourselves or others for a weakness, we may be in danger of criticizing the Creator.  Am I going to change this negative behavior pattern of judging overnight? Probably not. However, I am more aware of it now and that is step one. How can I lead the one if I can't consistently lead myself?

I wondered how I could show more respect for this person whom I had judged. I was inspired to give them admiration and to think of something that they had done for me that I was grateful for. This was part of the Morning Empowerment and had helped me so much with respect to increasing my love and respect for my husband. This morning, I sent this person an admiration and they seemed to really appreciate it. I also decided to clear the air with my friend and share with them this lesson that I am sharing with you. Every time I think it’s someone else that needs to change, it always comes back to me. I need to lead myself before I can lead the one…

Sunday, November 9, 2014

Getting Out of Your Comfort Zone

At University101, Brandon talked about this one thing that has awakened me from a deep slumber.  If you do this one thing, then you will be able to live life with incredible certainty and confidence.  If you don’t do this one thing, you will face the same trials repeatedly and experience unnecessary pain.  And the one thing that Brandon taught me is that you need to be willing to be uncomfortable now to be comfortable later.

Before I learned this one thing, I struggled for years to make decisions and reach goals that would help me to feel happy and fulfilled in my life.  After I learned this one thing, I quickly made decisions and reached goals that that gave me peace, joy and happiness. Let me share with you a story…

A life pattern was revealed to me when I realized that most major decisions in my life were based on what was convenient for me in the short-term vs. what was best for me in the long-term.  Each time I came to the edge of my understanding and had the opportunity to take the next step, I backed off to feel relief. The connection I hadn’t clearly made until Brandon taught it in University 101 was that I did this because I did not have deep trust in the Creator. I did not have a desire to know his will for me because I was afraid of what he would ask me to do.

After I became aware of this life pattern, I had a “dark night of the soul.  Seeing how my Hyena has blinded me to this knowledge has been an excruciatingly painful realization. However, I also realize that the Creator gave me that part of myself because there must be opposition in all things. He gave me that part of myself so that it could empower my Lion to overcome it and by doing so, I would be made stronger.

On the bright side, this knowledge has given me the courage to make some huge changes in my life over the last few months such as receiving my endowments, getting my Patriarchal Blessing and deciding to have another baby.  It’s also giving me the courage to make some other huge life changes in the next few months that I was unwilling to even consider at the beginning of this year.  I know it’s going to be hard work. I can’t see all the steps in front of me…but that’s not the point. I have finally realized that the point is that I need to develop that deep trust in the Creator and that he wants to give me so much more. However, before he can do that, he needs to stretch me to make a little more room inside my soul so that I can receive it. As he does that, I just need to trust that He is not going to let me fall as I walk over that edge…

Saturday, November 8, 2014

MIssing Out on Something

My husband and I were at the Las Vegas airport waiting for our flight home after we had attended Higher Laws University 101 in St. George, UT. Since we had about 2.5 hours to spare before our flight left, we surveyed all the restaurants near our gate to determine our options. Since both of us had been eating out at restaurants all week (with the exception of some healthy snacks) my body was telling me that it needed a salad. However, my taste buds were telling me that they needed a burger from Carl’s Jr., a fast food chain restaurant that we don’t have in Canada and that I had never tried before. As a compromise, I got a salad and green smoothie from a Mediterranean restaurant and a burger from Carl’s Jr.

Near our gate, we ran into Kyle McNeil, our
Higher Laws Personal Results Specialist. Kyle said that his flight did not leave for a couple of hours and that he was interested in getting some food. I sheepishly told him how I had made a compromise and got a burger and a salad to eat on the plane. I explained to him how I really didn’t feel like eating another fast food burger but I had never tried Carl’s Jr. before. Then he said, “So you feel like you would be missing out on something...”

I told him that I had never really thought of it that way before and thanked him for this awareness. Then Kyle continued by saying, “That’s what your Hyena will tell you but you’re not missing out on anything…”

After we boarded the plane, I stared out the window for several hours. Kyle’s simple statement had such deep impact on me. I experienced a “dark night of the soul” and my heart ached as I thought about all the things I was really missing out on. I wish I could chase my son on the playground. I wish I could run the way he could. I wish I didn’t stress out that I could not run and catch up to my son if he got too far ahead of me on the sidewalk. I wish I had more energy and vitality. I wish I had more choices in the clothes I could wear and buy. I wish I could bend over and tie my shoes and still be able to breathe and that the zipper on my pants wouldn’t pop open. I wish I could walk down the aisle of the bus at work and not have to walk sideways. I wish I felt more attractive and sexy for myself and my husband. I wish I could dance the way I used to. These are truly the things I am missing out on.

I am so grateful to Kyle for helping me to see my Hyena. It was a painful realization but now I think I am ready to take the next step towards a bright new future…

Friday, November 7, 2014

The Edge at University 101

On the first morning of University 101, I groggily walked up to the registration table. Immediately a lady that I recognized from The Answer to Everything kindly notified me that there was a line for the registration. I looked and saw several people standing in line behind her. Embarrassed, I apologized for not noticing that there was a line and went to the end of it. “Man, I am not even here for 5 minutes and I am already ticking somebody off”, I thought to myself.

For the rest of University 101, I thought this lady had a really bad first impression of me. When I saw her in the event room or in the convention center on breaks, I tried to catch her eye so that I could give her a smile but we never seemed to make direct eye contact. This lady had a real presence and power about her, and I felt really intimidated by her. I thought to myself, “She doesn’t like me…”

Near the very end of the event, Brandon Broadwater asked us to change partners again. I saw this lady sitting beside her husband and the Heavenly Guide prompted me to go over and sit next to her. I mustered up my courage, slid into the seat next to her and asked her if she wanted to be my partner. She gave me this huge smile and happily agreed.

We quickly discovered that we actually had allot of things in common and were enjoying some wonderful discussions. I admitted to her that I had felt intimidated by her all week and that coming and sitting next to her had been an edge for me. She was so surprised by this admission and was concerned that she had done something wrong. However, I assured her that she had been tenderly upfront with me at the registration table and that my own insecurities were the problem.

She admired that I had the courage to overcome my fears and was grateful that she had been open to my request as she had already made plans to be partners with her husband. Before the end of the event, she and I exchanged contact information and were grateful that we’d had the opportunity to meet and get to know each other.

 I learned that when I move out of my comfort zone and am open and willing to take a chance on making a connection, I am serving myself and others with the gift of possibility. You never know the treasures you may be unwrapping.

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

When the Student is Ready, the Teacher Appears

During the first 2 days of Relationship Mastery at University 101, my husband and I were partners. I could tell from his physiology that he was really struggling with state.   At the supper break on day 2, I asked my husband what was going on for him. He said that he felt like all he could think about when Brandon Broadwater was teaching us were the mistakes that he had made in life.

On day 3 of University 101, we had just finished Relationship Mastery and started Mastering Influence. We went to lunch at a restaurant across the street for the first time. At the end of our meal, our server gave us our bill and noticed our name tags with the Higher Laws logo. At first, I started telling her about Higher Laws and how they were principles that produced results. Then, my normally introverted husband started carrying the conversation. He was telling her all about Higher Laws and how much they had already changed our lives. She said that it sounded exactly like something she needed and said that she was experiencing allot of struggles in life. We exchanged contact information and the web address for Higher Laws. Before she left, I asked her if I could give her a hug and we had a warm embrace right there in the restaurant. She declared to us exuberantly, “You guys are my angels!!!” After she left the table, I saw the look in my husband’s face as it filled with emotion. I saw the impact that this exchange had on him. When we got back to the conference center after lunch, I witnessed a complete change in state for my husband.

At the end of day 3, my husband and I stopped to take pictures of the St. George temple of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day-Saints. There we met a young man who had been pondering and praying in the garden about the direction for his life. We both shared with this young man how applying Higher Laws had helped us make decisions in our life despite our circumstances. Again, I shared my contact information and the web address for Higher Laws. We ended up having another late night but it was worth it. At the supper break on day 4, my husband and I had another opportunity to share the Higher Laws message with our server. With each encounter, I saw my husband’s state bolster.

Brandon taught us that the Creator was going to give us opportunities to use the tools we’d learned in Higher Laws to serve others. It was amazing to witness the truth of the old adage “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear”. The Creator sent these teachers to show his trust in and unconditional love for us and those we serve. When can let our lights shine and feel that true joy and happiness in His service, we can know for a surety that it has glorified Him.

Monday, October 27, 2014

Where There's a Will, There's A Way

Back in September, I wrote about the struggles that my husband and I were having financially due to his unemployment. We wanted to go to University 101 in November but we had no idea how to make it happen! Everything about the situation said that it was not logical that we should spend money to travel to the U.S. for this event. My husband’s severance package had run out and he didn’t get the job offer from a recent interview that had seemed so certain.  He had not even received his first unemployment cheque and I had a part-time salary.

 It was now the beginning of October and we had made no travel plans. I knew that Higher Laws taught us that we need to align to
principle vs. circumstance so I asked the Heavenly Guide for help in getting us to the event. What happened over the next two weeks was astounding to me!

Within a day, I had booked our flights from Edmonton to Las Vegas, having been able to use our Air Miles to fly. The first day I had looked for Air Miles flights from Edmonton to Las Vegas, there were no Air Miles flights available. However, I was prompted to search again the next day and an Air Miles flight from Edmonton to Las Vegas magically appeared! Secondly, we were able to get a great deal on a car rental from Las Vegas. Next, my husband chatted on Facebook with a family member and found out that she lived in Hurricane, UT which is just a 25 min. drive from St. George. She offered to let us stay with her during University 101!  Our biggest worry was finding child care for our soon to be 5 year old son (whose birthday was the day we left for Las Vegas) but my husband’s cousin and his wife who live just outside of Edmonton agreed to take our son for a week! After all this, husband got a job offer to work remotely from home, I got money in the mail that I was not expecting, got a VISA gift card from a friend, and found some U.S cash stashed away in a dresser drawer. Last but not least, two close friends who needed accommodation are now renting rooms from us for the next couple of months while their lives are in transition. I cannot believe all the miracles that have been happening in our lives and it’s because we chose to align to principle vs. circumstance, requested help from the Heavenly Guide, followed inspiration, and had enough faith to take the next step! I will be attending University 101 a week from now and I can’t wait.