Thursday, May 7, 2015

Two Things I Learned About Making Mistakes

This is my first blog post since November 2014.  Even though I've been away for awhile, there's been allot of growth happening in my life and it's been all consuming.  There's a war that I've been waging...both internally with my Hyena and externally with forces from the dark side that I can't see but know exist and that try to tempt me, delay me or distract me from getting results every chance they get.  They are very good at it...they've been around for a long time to get the results that they do...and now as I write this, I can see that even these forces understand principles that sometimes I forget. 

Last November, I was invited to apply for a position writing a blog for Higher Laws.  This is something I had never done before but I felt the Spirit witness to me that this was something I needed to do.  A few short months earlier, I received a blessing and was told that I had a talent for expressing myself.  I received this blessing with great joy and appreciation as I had been praying that Heavenly Father would reveal my gifts and talents to me.  It was like a light bulb went off!  It's amazing how you can be so blind to truth but as soon as it is revealed unto you, it seems so obvious and you wonder how you missed it (this is another whole subject I could write a whole other blog about).  I thought, "Yeah, I guess I do have an ability to express myself but I never thought this was a gift or talent".  When I received the e-mail from Higher Laws inviting me to write a blog for them, I knew in my heart that Heavenly Father was opening a door for me.  I was so excited to try something that I had never done before and to take a shot at using this talent and working to make it even better.

With a passion and a desire to work I had not felt in myself in a really long time, I posted 9 blog posts on my own blog and 1 blog post on a guest blog.  I felt such a huge sense of accomplishment and certainty.  I was on top of the world and my lion was roaring!!!  I could not believe that I had done it because for so long, my Hyena had told me over and over again that I was not good enough...that I should not even try.

The VERY next day after I had submitted my posts, I had a HUGE state crash.  I went from feeling proud of my accomplishments to wanting to destroy EVERYTHING I had worked so hard to accomplish.  I SHREDDED myself for mistakes I had made during the writing process in order to meet the deadlines.  I failed to align to the priority of relationships to spend time with my husband and son.  I shut out my husband and rejected his desires to read and review my blog before I posted it. I posted personal details about our lives, including his, that I did not get his permission to share.  I felt vulnerable and uncomfortable putting my heart out there for everyone to see.  In short, I felt like I was a fraud and a failure writing about Higher Laws and that my Hyena had been in the driver's seat, even though my intentions and desires had been pure to want to share and serve others.

I have learned that we will receive equal opposition from the dark side for all the light that we receive.  This is all part of the process.  It is a true principle.  I have felt it and seen it and experienced it.  However, despite this knowledge, that dark side knocked me down and knocked me down HARD.  I made the mistake of falling and not getting back up fast by aligning to Higher Laws, managing my state, serving and growing.  I allowed my Hyena to dwell on my mistakes instead of allowing my Lion and the Creator to forgive myself and move forward.  I knew all this but yet I just couldn't seem to pull myself out of the depths of my self loathing.
Over the last few months, I have been listening to weekly coaching calls and continuing to put myself in environments of growth. It was coaching calls by Andy Benjamin on February 13th and Brandon Broadwater on April 29th that gave me the perspective I needed to help me get back up.

Andy was relating some personal struggles with applying Higher Laws in the beginning and asked himself, "What will STOP me? What will be the thing that knocks me off my path?"  Andy's answer to this question was...
NOTHING! NOTHING! NOTHING! He would not let any uncertainty knock him off his path and cause him to have a near miss with greatness.  He knew that he wanted to get away from being honorable vs. valiant and that he wanted to be a helper, a servant and a teacher.  If he failed to take his next step, it was FEEDBACK to help him know whether or not he was moving forward.  He didn't beat himself up if he didn't take the next step.
MISTAKES are FEEDBACK and nothing more.  Mistakes get correction through thoughtful application.  Doing things mindlessly will lead to bad habits but doing things...practicing mindfully with the intent to get better will lead to PERFECTION.  You have to practice and express your bad habits with the INTENT of getting better...with the awareness that you aren't perfect...that there are things for you to improve on.  There are no excuses not to act.  Take every opportunity to practice and correct mistakes.
Brandon reminded us some principles on How to Create a Life of Prosperity and again he re-iterated some of the same principles taught by Andy several weeks earlier: 
PERFECTION is making a mistake and getting up fast.

After I learned that mistakes are feedback and perfection is getting back up fast, I gained the needed perspective to help me move forward. Every time the Creator showed me something I needed to change about myself or a mistake that I had made, I started offering gratitude for it.  I realized just how much my Heavenly Father loved me and that he wanted me to be even better.  If I couldn't see my mistakes or where I needed to change, how could I change and become even better?  I also realized that next time I get knocked down, I need to do everything in my power to get back up fast by aligning to the Higher Laws I have already learned.

If you have been down too long because you have made mistakes, know that you are not alone.  You can learn more about principles that produce results in the 3-day event Master Your Power Within.  If you would like to know more about how this training has affected my life, please feel free to contact me by e-mail.

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