Two Things I Learned About Making Mistakes

This is my first blog post since November 2014.  Even though I've been away for awhile, there's been allot of growth happening in my life and it's been all consuming.  There's a war that I've been waging...both internally with my Hyena and externally with forces from the dark side that I can't see but know exist and that try to tempt me, delay me or distract me from getting results every chance they get.  They are very good at it...they've been around for a long time to get the results that they do...and now as I write this, I can see that even these forces understand principles that sometimes I forget. 

Last November, I was invited to apply for a position writing a blog for Higher Laws.  This is something I had never done before but I felt the Spirit witness to me that this was something I needed to do.  A few short months earlier, I received a blessing and was told that I had a talent for expressing myself.  I received this blessing with great joy and appreciation as I had been praying that Heavenly Father would reveal my gifts and talents to me.  It was like a light bulb went off!  It's amazing how you can be so blind to truth but as soon as it is revealed unto you, it seems so obvious and you wonder how you missed it (this is another whole subject I could write a whole other blog about).  I thought, "Yeah, I guess I do have an ability to express myself but I never thought this was a gift or talent".  When I received the e-mail from Higher Laws inviting me to write a blog for them, I knew in my heart that Heavenly Father was opening a door for me.  I was so excited to try something that I had never done before and to take a shot at using this talent and working to make it even better.

With a passion and a desire to work I had not felt in myself in a really long time, I posted 9 blog posts on my own blog and 1 blog post on a guest blog.  I felt such a huge sense of accomplishment and certainty.  I was on top of the world and my lion was roaring!!!  I could not believe that I had done it because for so long, my Hyena had told me over and over again that I was not good enough...that I should not even try.

The VERY next day after I had submitted my posts, I had a HUGE state crash.  I went from feeling proud of my accomplishments to wanting to destroy EVERYTHING I had worked so hard to accomplish.  I SHREDDED myself for mistakes I had made during the writing process in order to meet the deadlines.  I failed to align to the priority of relationships to spend time with my husband and son.  I shut out my husband and rejected his desires to read and review my blog before I posted it. I posted personal details about our lives, including his, that I did not get his permission to share.  I felt vulnerable and uncomfortable putting my heart out there for everyone to see.  In short, I felt like I was a fraud and a failure writing about Higher Laws and that my Hyena had been in the driver's seat, even though my intentions and desires had been pure to want to share and serve others.

I have learned that we will receive equal opposition from the dark side for all the light that we receive.  This is all part of the process.  It is a true principle.  I have felt it and seen it and experienced it.  However, despite this knowledge, that dark side knocked me down and knocked me down HARD.  I made the mistake of falling and not getting back up fast by aligning to Higher Laws, managing my state, serving and growing.  I allowed my Hyena to dwell on my mistakes instead of allowing my Lion and the Creator to forgive myself and move forward.  I knew all this but yet I just couldn't seem to pull myself out of the depths of my self loathing.

  

Over the last few months, I have been listening to weekly coaching calls and continuing to put myself in environments of growth. It was coaching calls by Andy Benjamin on February 13th and Brandon Broadwater on April 29th that gave me the perspective I needed to help me get back up.

Andy was relating some personal struggles with applying Higher Laws in the beginning and asked himself, "What will STOP me? What will be the thing that knocks me off my path?"  Andy's answer to this question was...

NOTHING! NOTHING! NOTHING! He would not let any uncertainty knock him off his path and cause him to have a near miss with greatness.  He knew that he wanted to get away from being honorable vs. valiant and that he wanted to be a helper, a servant and a teacher.  If he failed to take his next step, it was FEEDBACK to help him know whether or not he was moving forward.  He didn't beat himself up if he didn't take the next step.

MISTAKES are FEEDBACK and nothing more.  Mistakes get correction through thoughtful application.  Doing things mindlessly will lead to bad habits but doing things...practicing mindfully with the intent to get better will lead to PERFECTION.  You have to practice and express your bad habits with the INTENT of getting better...with the awareness that you aren't perfect...that there are things for you to improve on.  There are no excuses not to act.  Take every opportunity to practice and correct mistakes.

Brandon reminded us some principles on How to Create a Life of Prosperity and again he re-iterated some of the same principles taught by Andy several weeks earlier: 

PERFECTION is making a mistake and getting up fast.

After I learned that mistakes are feedback and perfection is getting back up fast, I gained the needed perspective to help me move forward. Every time the Creator showed me something I needed to change about myself or a mistake that I had made, I started offering gratitude for it.  I realized just how much my Heavenly Father loved me and that he wanted me to be even better.  If I couldn't see my mistakes or where I needed to change, how could I change and become even better?  I also realized that next time I get knocked down, I need to do everything in my power to get back up fast by aligning to the Higher Laws I have already learned.

If you have been down too long because you have made mistakes, know that you are not alone.  You can learn more about principles that produce results in the 3-day event Master Your Power Within.  If you would like to know more about how this training has affected my life, please feel free to contact me by e-mail.

MIssing Out on Something

My husband and I were at the Las Vegas airport waiting for our flight home after we had attended Higher Laws University 101 in St. George, UT. Since we had about 2.5 hours to spare before our flight left, we surveyed all the restaurants near our gate to determine our options. Since both of us had been eating out at restaurants all week (with the exception of some healthy snacks) my body was telling me that it needed a salad. However, my taste buds were telling me that they needed a burger from Carl’s Jr., a fast food chain restaurant that we don’t have in Canada and that I had never tried before. As a compromise, I got a salad and green smoothie from a Mediterranean restaurant and a burger from Carl’s Jr.

Near our gate, we ran into Kyle McNeil, our Higher Laws Personal Results Specialist. Kyle said that his flight did not leave for a couple of hours and that he was interested in getting some food. I sheepishly told him how I had made a compromise and got a burger and a salad to eat on the plane. I explained to him how I really didn’t feel like eating another fast food burger but I had never tried Carl’s Jr. before. Then he said, “So you feel like you would be missing out on something...”

I told him that I had never really thought of it that way before and thanked him for this awareness. Then Kyle continued by saying, “That’s what your Hyena will tell you but you’re not missing out on anything…”

After we boarded the plane, I stared out the window for several hours. Kyle’s simple statement had such deep impact on me. I experienced a “dark night of the soul” and my heart ached as I thought about all the things I was really missing out on. I wish I could chase my son on the playground. I wish I could run the way he could. I wish I didn’t stress out that I could not run and catch up to my son if he got too far ahead of me on the sidewalk. I wish I had more energy and vitality. I wish I had more choices in the clothes I could wear and buy. I wish I could bend over and tie my shoes and still be able to breathe and that the zipper on my pants wouldn’t pop open. I wish I could walk down the aisle of the bus at work and not have to walk sideways. I wish I felt more attractive and sexy for myself and my husband. I wish I could dance the way I used to. These are truly the things I am missing out on.

I am so grateful to Kyle for helping me to see my Hyena. It was a painful realization but now I think I am ready to take the next step towards a bright new future…

Be an Example of the Believers

In the New Testament of the Bible, 1 Timothy 4:12 says:

“…be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity.”

For years I felt guilt and shame as I struggled to align my faith in that scripture with my actions in choice of language. It was easy to watch my language in front of others of my own faith, but as soon as I was out of their company and confronted with circumstances that triggered strong emotion, there would be an outpouring of bad language.

I prayed often to the Creator in help with conquering this weakness. For awhile, some co-workers and I decided to start a swear jar but the small financial penalty was not enough incentive or deterrent to make a permanent change. I felt discouraged and thought that I was never going to be able to be the kind of example that I wanted to be.

In May 2014, I attended The Answer to Everything in Edmonton, AB. One of the major things I learned about was the two parts of ourselves – the Hyena (or ego) and the Lion (or higher self). I knew that these two parts of myself existed but I had forgotten all about them. As I sat in the event listening to Brandon Broadwater talk about these two opposites and their characteristics, I gained perspective and started to see how the Hyena had been playing a dominant part in my life with respect to my decisions. Brandon talked about Pride and the Pride Cycle which were not new concepts to me from scripture study but I had never really likened them to myself. I had never considered myself a prideful person. I learned how one of the three Pillars of State is Language / Meaning.  As the 3 days of the Answer to Everything unfolded, my perspective was raised and I started to see where I had been prideful, where I was shrinking and where I was holding back. I saw how I had made most of my decisions based on circumstance vs. principle. I saw where I was feeding my Hyena instead of my Lion.

As the weeks and months after the event followed and I strove to align to Higher Laws, I noticed an interesting thing happen. I did not have a desire to use bad language anymore!!! It was a natural consequence of striving to be a Lion!  My prayers had been answered and I had finally learned the secret to stop swearing. Now that my perspective was raised, I could clearly see that Lions use good language and Hyena’s use bad language. The kind of language you use is a clear sign of which part of yourself you are feeding.

Thanks to Brandon and the Higher Laws team for helping me to see how I can be an even better example of the believers!